"You say goodbye and I say hello... hello, hello..." - The Beatles

It's almost time to say goodbye to 2009. I look back on this year and am honing my eyesight to recognize its defining moments through the chaos that seems so prevalent. Quite frankly, it seems like I've been on water skis this year being hauled all around by a psychotic driver who just likes to see the scared look in my eyes as I just barely make it over each break and who giggles a little under his breath as he crosses wave patterns with another boater just as intent on scaring the bejeebers out of HIS skier. I'm not sure my terminology is even correct with that analogy, as I prefer the snow to the water, but I've never had someone else pulling me down the mountain by a cord (thank heavens, because that would mean I was likely on a gurney!)... and because I am somewhat afraid of the water and have felt completely out of control, at times, this year, the whole water skiing thing just seems to work.

Some things have stayed exactly the same this year and other aspects of my life have changed dramatically. Nothing so special about that, huh? I'm fairly certain that every person on the planet could say the same thing, but since this blog belongs to me and NOT to every other person on the planet, I will divulge a few details about the drastically changeable and unchanging life of Donna, circa 2009... and if I'm lucky, it won't be a bunch of repeats of previous blog entries; otherwise, I might just have to reference you to read said blogs and save myself a little time! I will post this year's highlights in separate entries, in part, so as not to drive the love of reading out of my special guests by sheer longevity, as well as give my guests something exciting to look forward to in their email inboxes, where I am actually the guest, instead of vice-versa.

I think it only fitting to outline, right from the beginning, the sequence of my entries... and I am completely shooting by the hip, as I always do, and therefore have no idea of what I will say next! However, I am afraid that without an outline, my entries about this particular year may never end and we simply cannot have that. After all, it wasn't THAT good or that BAD of a year that I'd wish to eternally evaluate its particulars! Having said as much, I shall focus primarily on the number three... three things that have stayed the same, three changes, three milestones and perhaps, three hilarities, in no particular order or arrangement. Before you get scared and block The Funny Farm from your inboxes, I swear to you that I will not send you twelve separate entries. As much as some of you may enjoy my writing, enough is enough, right? Please do not despair at the enormity of my undertaking, for I promise to make it entertaining and a whole lot more forthright than this introductory entry. Words, words, words... I enjoy them WAY too much and can only aspire to share my love of them with you, my readers! Until next time...

It's late...

It's late, it's late, it's late! I should be sleeping, but as I am apparently not, I may as well jot down a quick note on the old blogarooney. Since I last wrote...

...I colored and cut my hair. I posted a picture to show the new do, which doesn't even look like that anymore. It is a few shades lighter already... always happens to me. I have to color it extra dark for it to lighten up to the shade I actually want. I do like it, though. I quite liked the dark, but it's tough for me to get it to stay in. Why fight nature, huh? I have a lot of gray coming in now, though, and the highlight I had before was better at hiding that transition. A highlight may be calling my name, again, in the not so distant future. I gave Marin the same haircut and highlighted hers a bit, cut Audra's into a bob, and gave Vanessa some extra highlights, as well. It's been a busy hair month!

...two of our goats passed away. Our mama goat, Isabella, and her baby, Clover, passed away on the same night, but at separate locations. I had Isabella over to a neighbors to breed with his billy and he found her dead the next morning. I personally think the other goats were too rough on her and she didn't have anywhere to get out of the cold, like she does here. Had I not been such a comatose wastoid that day, and had checked out my neighbor's setup, I would not have sent her to her death. As it was, I was not feeling good, stayed in bed all day and sent the kids over with her. I didn't hear about how rough the other goats were with her until AFTER she was dead. She was totally healthy, though. Big bummer. Her baby, Clover, didn't grow as big and strong as her twin, Dora, and I think the cold just finally got to her. We could see she was ailing, brought her in that night to sleep in the pet porter, and she was gone by morning. Dora is fine and living with our other nanny goat, Belle. Still a sad, sad day for the van Uiterts.

...Kevin turned forty-four on December 4th. I wish I could say I made it a day he would always remember, but I had one of those weird allergic reactions I get, from time to time, which shut me down for the evening, was stressed about one of my daughter's school teachers, and ended up sending Kev to the ward Relief Society Christmas party alone. Poor guy. He's such a sweet guy... patient and understanding... and now one year older!

...our table caught on fire and was working itself into a towering inferno of plastic dishes and gingerbread house boxes when we finally discovered it. One or two of our beautiful children lit some candles and placed them way too close to a plastic bowl, which somehow caught on fire and turned into one to two foot flames licking upwards to the light fixture. I grabbed glasses of water and doused it in a jiff, but not quick enough to save the table from being seriously scorched on top. Maybe this is a blessing in disquise...my mini horses need another shelter and I think the table would do just the trick. Throw a tarp over it, and wallah... horse shelter extraordinaire! Really, though, I'm glad Marin spotted it. She, Audra, and I were busy hanging the last few ornaments on the tree in the front room when she noticed. It's not every day you see a real live fire on your dining room table. Kevin says we could have had a new house, had we not been so quick to discover it, and in some ways I could dig on that. But, truly, who would want to lose everything at Christmastime in a house fire? I actually dread that thought and fear, from time to time, that something like that will happen while we are gone (pellet stove, etc.) and my poor animals wouldn't have a way out. The three dogs, two birds, rabbit and the snake would be crispy critters, and I just can't stomach the thought of that. Anyhow... all's well that ends well, right? Catastrophe averted, Christmas tree decorated, table cleaned off (took a fire to do it, but hey...count yer blessings is what I always say...), and one less tupperware bowl to wash!

...I have made good friends with a sweet gal from Uganda. She lives down the street from me and I have felt impressed to visit her from time to time, and upon doing so, have found that we are like soul sisters and a great joy to each other. I feel for her, being so far from her family and home, and have encouraged her to plan a trip to Africa this year. Kevin has always wanted to go on a safari and now we have a friend that can show us around Kenya and Uganda. Maybe next year...

...I have been visiting Sandy Voge, who I call 'my energy lady', and she has been working on me every week to help balance my emotional/physical energy meridians. Through her work, she has found that my thyroid is not functioning properly, and that I am starving for iodine in my diet. A good friend of mine recommended that I have my thyroid checked out, because she had experienced similar problems in her life with emotional balance, fatigue, etc., and had a life changing experience by just taking iodine. I took her advice and had Sandy check me for it, and wouldn't you know... I need iodine. I'm just starting on it today and am hopeful to regain some balance in my life. Apparently, the thyroid is really important for proper body/mind function and mine has been jacked up for a long time. This could be the answer I've been looking for! I'm excited to find out!

...Dayton and Vanessa have been playing basketball up in Hyrum on Saturdays and are both really enjoying it. Dayton gets taller by the day, I swear, and Vanessa is fast on his heels. She is taller than I, now, and wears a shoe two sizes bigger than mine. Dayton is probably 6'4" now... I need to measure him again. All I know is that he was as tall as Kevin's brother at Thanksgiving and I think Brian is around 6'4" or 6'5". They are both finding their confidence out on the basketball court, though, and we've sure enjoyed watching them play. It's fun to meet the parents of the other kids, as well. Vanessa's friend, Milanna, is such a sweetheart and besides playing on the same team, they go to school together, as well. Her parents are simply marvelous and we've really enjoyed getting to know them better. They were kind enough to take us to a Utah State basketball game a few weeks ago and it was so much fun, we're even thinking of becoming Aggie fans, ourselves. We've always liked USU, but aren't true fans of ANY college sports team. We're thinking we might just have to do something about that :0)

Well, it's after 2:00 a.m. and I have to be up in four and half hours to take the kids to school. Field trip day... they are really excited! We have lunches to make, cameras and ipods to take, and no doubt naps for me and Audra when we get home from dropping them off! Goodnight!

The Art of Deciphering Chinese

Audra brought me a paper today that she had copied Chinese characters onto and asked me if I could tell her what it said. I am a big tease, of course, and have been blessed with the ability to fly by the seat of my pants in situations like these, and thus said, "But, of course I can read it. It says, 'Last Christmas I gave you my heart and all you did was tear it apart.'" Her eyes opened wide and a big grin settled on her face. I was waiting for the moment when she would realize that the radio on my computer was playing "Last Christmas" and know that I was foolin' her. (the song actually says "...and the very next day, you gave it away" instead of "...and all you did was tear it apart" but I was improvising and didn't want her to catch on too quick!) I asked her, "Where did you find the Chinese writing to copy?" to which she replied, "On a box under my bed." "A Sunkist box for oranges?" I asked. "Yup." "Oh... that makes perfect sense then. You see, a lot of people give a case of oranges to their friends for Christmas. So, the company must be saying, 'Here's your oranges for Christmas.' And what do people do with oranges? They..." and Audra pipes up, "...TEAR THEM APART!" "That's right!" I said and told her to go tell her dad what it said and then to copy me some more. I overheard her telling Kevin what it said, and of course, he starts singing "Last Christmas" and I was sure he was going to blow it for me. But, no... she was just too thrilled that it said something about Christmas and came back through my room on her way to write some more. As she crossed the foot of my bed, she stopped suddenly. "What?!" she exclaimed! Hearing the girl on the radio still singing "Last Christmas" she looked in amazement at my computer. Oh no, I thought...she's figured it out. "Mom! That lady just said 'Last Christmas I gave you my heart.' I bet she's the one who wrote that Chinese on the box!" Her grin had grown by tenfold over her new discovery, and of course, my covert methods were kept intact. Her secret to copying down Chinese characters is quite tricky. You see, she lays on her bed and hangs her head upside down with the paper on the ground, thus creating upside down Chinese, but for my intents and purposes... it was all good. She rushed back into my room with her next set of characters. I racked my brain for a good follow up to "Last Christmas" and totally drew a blank. Once again, I tuned my ears onto the radio playing an instrumental version of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" and started to read it for her..."God rest ye merry gentlemen...eat this orange and rest... merry gentlemen." Oh my gosh... the look on her face was of absolute amazement that I could read the Chinese. She didn't even care if it made any sense. It was simply fabulous! That girl... she's a crack up! Happy Thanksgiving Eve to you all!

Audra-isms

I forgot to mention something funny that Audra said yesterday. I challenged Audra and Marin to see who would brush their teeth first, and of course, Audra ran out of the room like a cockroach when the lights flip on. She was back within a minute or so, indicating that she really didn't brush... it's the old toothpaste on the finger technique, if you ask me. At any rate, after sending her back again to actually brush, she came back in and asked what her surprise was. I thought for a minute and said, "You can have another sweet and salty granola bar," which of course was a stupid surprise, since she had just brushed her teeth... duh. She looked at me and said, "I expect toys." Kev and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. She was dead serious and sounded like the Queen of England addressing her subjects. That girl is a hoot.

I have kept Audra home from school most of the week, due to a cough that I didn't want evolving into a flu, and with half the school out sick with the H1N1 or whatever the latest bug fad is right now, I wanted to play it safe. She was so much happier being home, it was incredible. Even with her playmate, Marin, gone all day, she kept herself busy and did her homework. Her attitude was much improved and the way she interacted with her siblings was noticeably better. Homeschool may be calling her name... at least for a little while. After all, how will I ever put together that fantastic book I'll be writing without little Audra-isms contributing to its success? Marin wrote her a letter the other day telling her how much she hoped Audra would feel better. Audra dictated to me this letter... word for word:

Dear Marin,

Thank you for the letter. I DO hope I get better and get to go to school. I'm going to have something for you when you get home. Go in the front room and your surprise will be in there!

Your Best Buddy...

Audra

I loved the grown up way she dictated this letter to me. She uses very complete sentences and has an impressive ardor with her delivery of the dictation. My favorite is, "Your Best Buddy..." Such a dolly cakes!

More Photos of da Phamily

Audra ready for school...

The Funny Farmer, Herself!

Gerrit and his group date to Homecoming

My Awesome In-laws, Ray & Karen

Sweet Marin :0)

A Plethora of Ponderments, Poetry and Plain Old Purity

This is just a small tribute post to my beautiful daughter, Marin, and a bit of a happy dance post for actually being able to dream a dream this evening... to envision possibilities in a future that has been looking somewhat prison-esque to me, of late. I hope you enjoy the photos of Marin, and of Vanessa and Dayton, as well, from the fall dance at school.

Kevin, Audra and I went to the bookstore today and I spotted a calendar for sale that takes vintage photos of women in the majestic throes of housewifery - circa 1950's - with smart, sarcastic phrases super-imposed. My favorite was of a smiling, cherubic, 50's icon of a housewife whose companion statement read, "If what you mean by happy is a prison sentence with no chance of escape... then, yes! I am happy!" It struck me as funny and Kev and I had a good chuckle. The contrast between the smiling faces and the acerbic verbiage was quite lovely. I also found a hilarious book called "What to Expect When You Are Expected" playing off of the series of a similar title, except written to the unborn fetus. Pretty dang funny. All in all... a great visit to the bookstore. Wouldn't you know it? The one book Audra picks from the shelf to lay down on the floor and flip through, is a book we already have at home, Jan Brett's Christmas Treasury. I said, "We have that book, Audra. I read it to you." She replied, "I'm just looking at it, Moomm..." like sheesh...

Anyway, here is my tiny little one stanza poem about Marin that just seemed to hit the spot at 2:00 a.m. yesterday morn:

daughter

ever watchful and reflective
eyes of innocence and blue
wise beyond this earthly kingdom
gentle as the morning dew

November 6, 2009
Donna Brooks van Uitert

I also had a fun visit to the D.I. this evening with Dayton. I wasn't quite sure why I was going, but it seemed like a good thing to do, so Dayton and I had a fun treasure hunting trip to the big "D" and found too many treasures to possibly take home. I did buy, however, a lazy-boy recliner in near-perfect condition and an upholstered chair that matches my front room couch reasonably well, in that eclectic way I prefer, of course. I did not resist the temptation to buy this monstrously awesome entertainment center armoire they had for sale for $75. It was just too gigantic and marvelous to resist. Of course, it may not fit in my home, and heaven knows I don't have a place for it, but it was so cool, I just had to indulge myself. We will either find a place for it here, or I will find a new home for it on ksl.com.

I really do love reselling used furniture and have been very blessed to have an eye for what sells online, but haven't been into the resell business for the last year or so. Rekindling this old flame is part of my "Dream a Little Dream" experience tonight. I simply adore the weirdly elaborate... sometimes grotesquely large in size... furniture that I find at the thrift shops. LOVE IT!!! I once had a dream (one that was on the brink of realization, I might add) of opening a used furniture store in Coalville and passing along quality, fashionable furnishings to the common folk in those parts who didn't want to drive into Salt Lake for a good deal. Heaven knows Park City doesn't have inexpensive used furniture for sale... I think it might be against the city code, to tell you the truth... hardy har har. Anywho... needless to say, I didn't open my shop. I did, however, buy furniture for it. That truly is how close I thought I was to realizing this dream. I sold most of it over a few month's time and helped pay the bills while we were struggling to make two house payments and keep the collection agencies at bay. It surely was a blessing to have that resource and certainly softened the blows of our financial crisis. We have no financial crisis, to speak of, these days. HALLELUJAH!!! Heavenly Father has blessed us beyond measure and we are so grateful to be out from under the black cloud of debt. However, I still love buying and reselling quirky furniture and am thinking of bringing back the old dream of setting up shop... with the twist of a warehouse to sell out of, instead of an open to the public kind of store.

We are considering this nifty little Victorian home for sale in Wellsville as a daytime depot for moi... running kids to school fifteen miles each way is getting old... twice and sometimes three times a day. If you know me at all, you know I like to drive, but only in those "I want to go for a drive" kind of moods... not "I have to take the kids to school" ball and chain schtick I've been engaging in for the last three months. My life has felt like anything but my own since I traded in the homeschooling "fly by the seat of our pants" lifestyle for the transient glory of taxi driver and STILL homeschool mom of four - just now encapsulated between the hours of four and ten p.m. I am what the Spanglish might call "el toasto burno" or "burnt toast" for all you heathens who don't speak Spanglish. And, yes... I am a complainer, as well, just for kicks. I don't really want to be a complainer... but then I must want to be one, since I'm performing the duties of Chief Complainer Whiny Pants with such zeal and zest that I put Lucille Ball and Roseanne Barr to shame, I'm afraid. Ah well... complaining's a nasty job, but somebody's gotta do it... *wink wink*

Speaking of complaining... I really need to mention what a fantastic example of non-complainability my dear Mother-in-law is (doesn't the word non-complainability just tickle your tongue as it rolls off? the fact that it isn't a word just makes it all the more fantastic!) My Mother-in-law just retired last week... wahoooo!!! Whilst reflecting upon her years of sacrifice and hard work in helping to support her family, it dawned on me that I don't think I've ever heard her complain about it. Kev and I have been married for twenty years... twenty years... and, honestly, I can't remember one complaint falling off her lips about her obligation to work. She is an absolutely awesome example of integrity, graceful endurance, and quite simply "putting the shoulder to the wheel." I'm sure she has had her complaints throughout the years concerning various things, but I find it extraordinary that I have never heard her complain about going to work. What a great woman, mother and wife. I can certainly take a few lessons from her about "doing my duty with a heart full of joy" and maybe learn a thing or two about the Art of Shut the #$%@ Up and Quit Yer Complainin'! Thank you, Karen, for the years of service on behalf of your family and for the example of not only your work ethic, but your enduring to the end character and positive attitude. Your charity and love for your family has not gone unnoticed and lucky for me, I get to reap the benefits of your righteous womanhood on a daily basis just by the blessing of having married your fabulous son. When he smiles, I see you and love him all the more for it.

Now, back to this Victorian cottage in Wellsville. We are thinking of either replacing our rental house in Layton with it, or quite simply adding it to our investment portfolio as a pet project for me to lovingly restore, use as a hair salon/massage parlor (don't get excited...it's not that kind of massage parlor...), furniture reselling headquarters, storage facility for our motor home and outside trailers, school house for Audra (we are considering bringing her back home for a year or two of positive character and identity reinforcement... that girl... I'll tell ya...grumparoo to Timbuktu!), and just an all around pit-stop for me and the kids so we can save some time and money from running back and forth to Beaver Dam several times a day. Out of breath just from reading that? I think that sentence deserves an award. But seriously, those are the thoughts and dreams from the previously vacant persona I have acquired over the last two years... the artist formerly known as "who? huh? oh... that absent spirited and fitfully mindless creature inhabiting Donna's body? right on..." I actually felt alive tonight thinking of the possibilities, and seeing as that I haven't been able to envision many future goals (or shall I say any future goals) for a long period of time now, it is quite refreshing to take joy in the thoughts of plans and projects and all that jazz... even if they don't work out. Decisions like these require much prayer and pondering and when they are right, they just seem to fall into place. Should that happen with this decision, I would assume that I will be thrilled. If it's not meant to be, then it's not meant to be and another dream may find its way to my doorstep, preferably sooner than later. *grins*

Goodnight, Ya'll... This is what happens when I don't write for awhile. My dad asked me for an email when I was chatting with him on the phone this evening and I reminded him that I respond quite regularly to his emails, to which he replied that he hasn't received an email from "the Farm" for a long time. Well, here ya go, Pops... this one's for you!

For the Love of a Dog

I look across the room, past the bed I am sitting on, to an image that evokes nostalgia in many of us. How comforting it is to see man's best friend curled up in front of a window soaking up the rays of sunshine pouring in. No worries or cares wrinkle his forehead, for he enjoys the moment; the softness of indoor carpeting, the warmth of the sun, and the love of his master, which he mirrors back to the inhabitants of his domain. To look into his eyes is to look into the eyes of a wise and aged grandfather who knows much from his experiences in life and understands exactly, with compassion and love, what another is experiencing. The old adage from William Shakespeare stating, "The eyes are the windows to the soul," could not be more true than when looking into the eyes of a dog, and particularly looking into the eyes of Bruno. There I see a thoughtful soul: a widow's grief; a child's curiousity; a prophet's knowing; a mother's embrace; a watchman's loyalty; a father's protection; and most importantly, the light of Christ.

Bruno. Bruno is my dog... my canine aficionado. I have had many "best friends" throughout my life, of the canine variety, but I'm not sure that any of them will hold a place in my heart as stringently as Bruno, the one I welcomed into our home when we really didn't need or want another dog (we had three already), but who grasped my heart the moment I met him. He sprinted the hundred feet into my open car door upon being asked, "Do you want to go home with me?" leaving me, mouth agape, across the vast yard at my friend's home. I guess the answer to that question was not just "yes" but "#$%& YES!"

I remember seeing an adoption ad posted for him on the front door of the Eden General Store one Saturday morning, when Kevin and I went for some breakfast at one of the town's few restaurants. The ad read, "Vizsla/German Shorthair Mix Needs Good Home" and then stated that the dog listed was an excellent dog, but needed a fenced yard, because he liked to run away. Weeks later, a friend of mine joked to me about the ad posted on the window, that he, too, had seen and commented, "Oh yeah... they're sure to find a home for him... a dog that likes to run away. Doesn't everyone want a dog like that?" A look of surprise settled on his face when I told him that I must have wanted a dog like that, for I had adopted him myself.

You see, I didn't realize at the time that I saw the ad, that Bruno was one of my best friend's dogs. The picture posted portrayed a russet brown bird dog, as nondescript as any chocolate lab I had ever seen. It wasn't until days later, in talking to a mutual friend, that I found out that the dog in the ad was indeed owned by my friend, and that she was worried sick about finding a good home for him, noting that it would be difficult because of his age and his bad habit of running. She didn't want to place Bruno in another home, for she loved him deeply, but her husband felt otherwise. He was angered easily by the slightest deviation from his rules, and neglected to remember that "a dog is a dog." You leave the ham bone out on the edge of the counter and it is quite likely that even the best behaved canine will give into temptation and snatch it up. They don't understand all the reasonings and consequences of man. They only see the reasoning in the moment... ham bone... yum. Bruno's mistake was to take that ham bone and enjoy it on the living room carpet. The rage and tempest that proceeded from her husband was of such great magnitude that no love was left in his heart for this special dog - only hatred. He despised Bruno. The ham bone was simply the excuse he needed to get rid of someone that stole his wife's attention from himself. She loved Bruno with an unconditional love that he couldn't help be jealous of. She confided to me that he was always hard on Bruno, and that it angered him that he ran away, but I don't think she ever considered that the reason Bruno might be running was, in fact, because of her husband. So, while she was on vacation with her family, and our mutual friend was watching her animals for her, I offered to take him during the vacation as a trial period, to see if he fit in with our family. We called her and asked her permission to take him for the week, and even though she was skeptical that this was the solution to her problem, she conceded that it couldn't hurt to try. She knew we had five children and three dogs already, with a fenced yard that didn't always keep them in... the dogs, that is. She wasn't sure that Bruno would get the best home with us, and that he might only prove to be a burden on an already seemingly burdened household.

A burden he was not. In fact, quite the opposite proved to be true, and we wished our other dogs were as well behaved and obedient as he. To my friend's bewilderment and surprise, we had stumbled upon a startling observation with Bruno. You see, he didn't run off - not even once. We walked through the neighborhood together, without a leash, and he stayed right with us. We let him out to do his business, and he didn't try to escape. If let out front, he stayed within calling distance and returned upon being beckoned. What?! This hard to contain canine wasn't so hard to contain! Perhaps, the reason Bruno didn't run was because he didn't feel he had anything to run from. He had found unconditional love, at last, and the fear and trembling present when I first met him was stripped away, leaving a calm and secure spirit in its place.

Our family has had the pleasure of Bruno's company for the last four years, now. He is my best friend when I am lonely and will sleep beside me when my husband is away. He is the hearthstone I warm myself beside on cold winter nights. He is the embrace I need from my mother when I am sad or have had a hard day. He is the protection I take with me on a solitary road trip and my security system when no one is at home. He is the constant in a tumultuous life of comings and goings and the ultimate giver of unconditional love. He always loves to see me, even when I look or feel terrible. He likes me even when I'm grouchy and forgives me instantly when I lose my cool over a ransacked garbage can or empty bread bag. The old roamer who used to run miles away from home, who got shot at on several occasions for stealing animals out of farmer's fur traps, and who still bears the buck shot under his skin and the scars on his feet from being entrapped himself, is now the same sweet dog lying in the sun on my bedroom floor. No longer does he emulate the greyhound's gaunt profile, or shake like a leaf in the wind. No... he is at peace, without fear, enjoying his moment in the sun.

Poetry from the Funny Farmer

I stumbled upon a poem I wrote sometime this summer, and I actually can't quite remember writing it. I mean, I vaguely recognize the lines, but seriously cannot remember when I wrote it, other than I know it was within the last few months. I must have written it late at night, as I typically do, saved it in MS Word and went to bed. Upon finding it, I realized how grateful I am not to be feeling that way at the moment, but still could appreciate the beauty found within it.

A friend of mine just lost her step-brother at the hands of another and in our conversation about the funeral, I remarked to her that I find funerals to be quite beautiful. Although, some are terribly tragic, as with the case of her step-brother, and some are welcomed with relief for one who has suffered long enough, the emotion and the humanity present at the funeral of a loved one is a beautiful thing. Sometimes, pain and sadness, I think can be beautiful things, because they teach us greater love... greater appreciation, perhaps, for the things that are truly of worth in our lives. So, when I read this poem, I found it sad and lonely and somewhat forsaken (evidently QUITE forsaken, since I didn't even remember it was there)... but also beautiful. Gary Allen, the country singer, sings a song entitled, "Life Aint Always Beautiful" and I think we've all had our share of feeling that way. But we also have to remember the flip side of that record... "Life IS Beautiful," and sometimes the realization of that comes from experiencing what 'at the time' feels very much less than beautiful. Crying is beautiful because it is evidence that we have the ability to feel. Misery is beautiful because without it we wouldn't know what true joy is. I don't know... you get the picture!

The second poem is one I just now wrote. The idea came to me earlier today and, of course, the second I lay my head on the pillow, the words started flowing into my mind. This poem might seem melancholy, as well, but hey... at least I'm consistent! Ha ha... Maybe this writing thing is just the way I happen to get some of those somber thoughts shaken out of my heart and head. I still liked it, though, and I hope you all do, as well.

Untitled

Hands cover her mouth
To hold back the cries
With each passing day
A piece of her dies

The fire within
That lit up the room
Was known at one time
To dispel the gloom

But shrouded she is
With sadness and grief
That douses her fire
And gives no relief

The shroud of the night
Snuffs out the day
Another day spent
Along her life’s way

Her limbs are now weary
And drooping, her eyes
But sleep does not come
Only tears to despise

by Donna van Uitert
Summer 2009



Sell Me a Dream

Does anyone know where a dream can be bought?
Mine once was a gift, but I thought of it not.
I’m afraid that I left mine alone for too long.
It seems to have tired of me and is gone.

So neglectful was I with my very own dream,
I didn't take note of its absence, it seems,
For weeks, perhaps months, maybe even a year.
I now have lost something I once held so dear.

For years it was part of my spiritual whole
Ingrained in my heart and my mind and my soul.
My constant companion… my beacon of hope
The light at the end of the tunnel… the rope

That was offered to me in the years of my youth
As guidance - direction - for seeking of truth.
And now its importance, I’m deeply aware
Becomes even greater now that it’s not there.

So where do they go… those forgotten or left?
Those dreams that have fled leaving souls so bereft?
Recycled for others to more wisely use?
Or for yet but another’s neglect and abuse?

If I found my lost dream, would it come back to stay?
I’m not sure it is mine anymore to betray.
Perhaps, it has found itself happy to be
With one who will recognize worth and will see

The value in nurturing something so rare
As a dream that’s been gifted from Heavenly care.
Perhaps, although time with my previous friend
Has come and now gone, it may not be the end.

There may yet be another dream waiting for me
To hope for and work for and ultimately
Ignite what has long become dormant and still…
Encourage my hope and my heart and my will.

It’s certain I can’t justify the request
For another gift such as the one I suppressed.
But, buy it, I will, with whatever He takes,
This Maker of dreams, for the new dream He makes.

So, once more this question to all I would ask
And hope for your help to accomplish this task.
Does anyone know where a dream can be bought?
Mine once was a gift, but I thought of it not.

by Donna van Uitert
September 13, 2009

It is now after six o’clock and I am still helping kids with homework. Just as I answer a question for Marin, then it’s Dayton’s turn…then Marin…then Dayton… You get the picture. If Vanessa wasn’t babysitting, we could throw her in the mix. Instead, she’ll probably call as soon as she gets a chance to work on her homework, and if not, we’ll be up late tonight. Luckily, Kevin got back in town late last night and is thus here to help Audra with hers. Hers is actually pretty quick… thank heavens. We are working on prime factorization for math and maps for history. I don’t remember ever having to know all the different types of projection maps available. In fact, I might indeed ask “Why is it necessary to memorize them?” Unless my child plans to become a cartographer, I see no need. And yet, here we sit detailing the strengths and weaknesses of each of the four common map projections. If Marin wants to be a cartographer someday, I’m sure she could have speedily memorized and learned about these in her cartography class. Welcome to public school… the source of certain pertinent information, but also decidedly the source of oodles and oodles of unnecessary fact memorization. I guarantee you that none of these kids of mine will remember what kinds of projections there are in a few months. And the amazing thing is that they won’t NEED to remember them… EVER. Boy howdy, do I love to waste my time, or what?! And yes... you guessed it... I'm a little bit grouchy.

On a happier note, Marin, Dayton and Vanessa are all on Student Council. They made posters and gave campaign speeches. Marin is the Secretary, Vanessa the Treasurer, and Dayton is a Class Representative. Now, we'll just have to see if they have any TIME to be on Student Council after all of their well spent time regurgitating stimulating facts about the Winkel Triple Projection Map. Sorry... just couldn't help it.

Audra is busy sewing papers together for homemade books that she makes and plans to give to all of her friends and family. She's been making them for a couple of months now and likes to copy text from other books. You can open one and read about Simba and Timone, or open another and read about Dorothy on her way to Oz. She's a sweet girl... most of the time. We actually quite prefer her when she is NOT sticking her tongue out, hitting, kicking, or telling a story about how she "didn't do it!"

In other news: our lovely snake is loose in the house. Whither he goes, we know not. I hope to find him alive and preferably not hooked onto anyone's toes. I suspect that this is Kevin's hope, as well. (but, my, doesn't Kevin have delicious looking toes? I should say...)

And with that, I bid you adieu... a final farewell. Vanessa shall grace us with her presence in a short period of time, at which point I can restart the tutoring process once again. Anyone game for a jolly time with predicates, prepositional phrases, cardinal compasses, or prime factorizations? If so, applications are being accepted during normal business hours, which at present is between the hours of seven a.m. and ten p.m. Plenty of time to submit...no excuses...

Bear Lake with the Girlies July 30, 2009

Camp Bartlett July 27 - August 1, 2009

Picking the boys up on the last day... boy were they tired!

Gerrit and his Kodiak claw necklace

Me and the Sweaty Boy... it was pretty darn hot!

Can you tell what pals these two are? This picture is deceiving because Dayton is only a few inches shorter than Kevin now... he's standing down hill in this photo!

Dayton and his buddy for life, Dane Trauntvein, spent the week at NYLT (National Youth Leadership Training). What a great experience!

The Countdown...

to wake-up in five hours is getting closer and closer! It might help if I actually went to sleep (easier to wake up that way). We are heading down to Farmington for a niece's baby blessing and living out in the boonies means we've got to get off early! So, I'll keep this brief. (yes... I can do that)


We picked up the boys from NYLT (National Youth Leadership Training) and the Kodiak camp at Camp Bartlett. They were up there for the whole week and had a fantastic time. I even missed them (yes... I can do that, too). I'll be posting pictures just as soon as I bring the camera in from the car and IF... IF Kevin's computer cooperates. You see, my computer has taken the much needed vacation I was longing for and refuses to turn on. Eee gads. The HP should have been named the TP, since flushing it down the toilet may be all it's good for anymore!

Summer is almost come and gone for us. I can't believe it. School starts in a wee few weeks and I am definitely not ready for that. We're still making some decisions on schools... nothing like waiting till the last minute. Didn't Carly Simon write a song about us? Pro-crast-in-a-a-tion is making me wait... right... (I really do know the real song, but I have to humor myself somehow) I'm going to miss my kids being home. I suppose I can just be grateful I've had them home as much as I have with the whole homeschooling gig over the years. We have the two youngest girls signed up at a charter school about twenty-five minutes away from us and we are still contemplating that decision. What fun is decision making if you can't rehash the same options over and over again and remake it once or twice? Double the fun, I always say.

Barbara's oldest gets married on the 15th of August and I am heading down with my other sister, Laura, her gorgeous daughter, Cadence, and my one in a million folks, Loren & Julianna. Should be nice and hot in Phoenix just about then, so obviously, I'm looking forward to it. Nothing like having a sweat ring in your wedding photos, huh? Nice visual. Really, though, I am looking forward to seeing my sister and her family, and her family's family, and so on and so on. Megan will be a beautiful bride and I love her dearly... thus I will also love the 120 degree weather dearly and the fourteen hour drive dearly... but who's counting?! Certainly not me.


Just as an update: Snake eggs are kaput. Sorry to all of you who were looking forward to my little hatchlings as much as I was, but the eggs went all moldy and sunken in and got the stink of death about them. Anything with the death stink has got to go... wait... except for my teenage kids who quite often have the stink of death about them, but are much too dear to throw out like a tupperware dish full of snake eggs. Who ever said I didn't care... see? I care...


In conclusion, you should all take note that a Sara Lee pumpkin pie does not taste any better at one in the morning than it did during the coherent hours. Let the record reflect that bad is bad, no matter what the hour. And with that, I bid you farewell...adieu...auf wiedersehen and goodnight!

Marshmallows in the Snake Cage

I bought some frozen mice at the pet store today for our two snakes, and upon entering Dayton's room to feed the biggest one, I noticed what looked to be marshmallows in the snake's cage. I said to the kids, "Who put marshmallows in here? There's marshmallows right under his hideout." But then, upon closer inspection, I realized that the marshmallows were actually EGGS! Six or seven eggs! Looks like the wild Blow Snake we picked up last month was a little bit wilder than we thought... pregnant, she was! So, another month or so should bring us baby snakes, if all goes well. I really don't know what to do with the eggs, other than to just leave them be. My sister, Karen, told me to make sure and separate them before they are born, or Mommie Dearest will likely eat her young ones. I remember from studying snakes years ago that the mothers don't care for their young... simply lay the eggs and take off. Wish us luck with the marshmallows :)

The Moth and the Cherries

How's that for a good sized moth? The girls found the kittens playing with him on the backporch tonight... poor thing. He's huge, though! So cool.

Here's a look at our cherries, which are getting too ripe to do anything with anymore. I bottled three pints for future pies, but didn't have enough time today to do anymore...rush rush rush. I picked peas with a neighbor for an hour or so and she gave us three grocery bags full. Yum! We then had to get to a church dinner social and had to scrap my big cherry plans for the day. Tomorrow may be too late, but at least I was able to use some of them. There are still a ton on the tree, as you can see from the last photo, but the birds have pecked the heck out of them and they turn out to be too much work. No worms, though - not a one. I can't explain that since we didn't even spray... must be all the rain and cooler weather we had over the last month or two. Whatever the reason, we're grateful :)

Life's a Bowl of Cherries...

And to quote Erma Bombeck, "If life's a bowl of cherries...what am I doing in the pits?" I had both today - big bowls of cherries and a big bowl of pits. Today was jam day and for the first time, I made cherry jam. I don't remember ever trying cherry jam, but it tastes just as good as strawberry or raspberry, and right now, I have plenty of cherries, so cherry jam it is. The pitting was a bit tedious, and yet... menial, repetitive chores like that can be soothing in their own right. (the screaming knots in my shoulder muscles are saying, "Soothing? Yeah, right...") I like to can, though, and am even somewhat proud of the semi-permanent brown lining around my fingernails that I will sport for the next day or so - evidence that I worked my rear off in the kitchen. I can wash and wash, but that fruit gets into the crevices around my nails in such a way, turning brown as fruit does in the air, that I just can't get it out. I'll need to get in the tub tonight with a nail brush if I want to eradicate my cherry stains. But I must say, seeing the little plastic tubs of freezer jam and my glass pint jars all red and shiny, sitting there on the counter, make me happy! Immediate gratification is the name of Donna's game and canning gives me immediate results that actually LAST, for several months, at least. Tomorrow will be the culminating triumph when I get to line them up all pretty on my fruit room shelf, and then rearrange them and reline them up again, until I'm perfectly satisfied with my display.

All fifty quarts of the peaches I canned last year are gone... baby... gone. I'll be sure to revamp my peach storage in a few months when the peaches come on. I did notice, however, that I have a few dozen pints of tomatoes that I'd better use quick... not sure how long those last, but I do know how long it took me to can them, and the last thing I want to do is waste them!

I'll no doubt wake up tomorrow morning and start the cherry day all over again, for I have a tree still full of cherries, and a laundry room full of laundry, and in the ring, cherries beat out laundry every time! My focus tomorrow may be on canning pie filling, along with another batch of jam, and maybe a few more trays of fruit leather (I only did two of those today and they are still not dry, but the wasps seem to like them just fine). So, until tomorrow... farewell my little fruity friends!

The Blur

June seems to be but a blur in my mind's eye... where did it go? Well... I think it went to EFY twice, trek, BYU for Vanessa's basketball camp, and then to St George for Dayton's basketball team camp... shove in my mini stallion getting loose from the neighbor's house while we're out of town, hauling 150 bales of hay, training sessions with Frosty, 4H, and a remodel on our bathroom, and I think June is just too pooped to show it's face. I've certainly been a tad too pooped to blog, but I have hopes for July! (okay... maybe August? it might take some time to recoup...)

Just for cuteness sake: Marin just told me that she was thinking about Christmas and how we really don't need anything more for presents - we have enough. Audra jumped all over her saying, "That's not nice, Marin. I think it makes Santa happy to give presents and see all the kids asleep in their beds!" Like, how dare we upset Santa and deny him the privelege of delivering us presents! They are watching 'The Polar Express' and that explains the Santa talk in July. Moments later, Audra looked over at me with her squinty eye and scrunched up nose and said, "My throat is scratchy patchy..." Hmm... scratchy patchy... that's a new one. Cute girls.

Vanessa is off to girls camp tomorrow and we spent much of the day preparing. Packed the big duffle bag (and I mean BIG), braided her hair into corn rows, dropped her bag off at the church and we'll say goodbye to her at eight in the morning. I wish I was a teenager going to camp, again. Might be time to grab my friend Annie and find an older 'Girls Camp' for us older girls! Definitely worth considering!

The cherries are ripe on the tree; the apples have the branches almost touching the ground (might be time to thin... ya think?); the radishes have gone to seed and I think the farmer, with them... ha ha... Mosquitoes are biting, grasshoppers are reproducing, kittens are growing, hoofs need trimming, horse teeth need floating, poop needs scooping, snakes keep arriving (yes... another snake caged in the house... a racer), and Donna needs something. If any of you know what that is, please feel free to let me know. I'm fresh out of ideas ;P

Later...

The Marvelous and The Terrible

Today was an unusual day. It started out quite wonderfully, to tell you the truth. I didn't realize just how much I missed my family being together until this morning, when Gerrit and Vanessa didn't go to school, and we actually had a good old "homeschool days" talk on the bed. We read a conference address from President Monson about keeping ourselves safe from the adversary... study diligently, pray fervently, and live righteously... great talk (April 2009 Priesthood address). We had family prayer, which has become a night and dinner time occasion instead of first thing in the morning, breakfast, lunch, dinner and night time. Boy, did it feel good to just relax with my kids and discuss the words of the Prophet, pray, plan for the day and just be... be the family we used to be before public school. We weren't exactly a complete family, since Dayton is down to BYU for his first EFY this whole week, and Kevin was working, but it was a whole lot closer than we've felt on a morning in a long time. I'm sure grateful for that.

The kids did their chores, ate lunch and got busy on the friend invites. Gerrit's three friends, Daniel, Kyle and JJ came over to hang with him, and Vanessa's friend, Sarina, came over as well. Marin was just ready to invite her friend over when all the excitement occurred.

"Hey Mars... do we have any avocados left? Could you cut me one and salt it for me, please?"

"Sure, Mom." Marin busied herself with the avocado as I investigated new possibilities for Activity Days. Only moments later, Marin was at my side. "Mom... I... look..." I looked at the fingers of the hand she was clutching and saw the blood. Separating the pointer and middle fingers of her left hand, I found myself looking into a gaping crevice on the underside of her knuckle.

"What happened? How did this happen, Marin?" I asked. Sobbing, now, Marin proceeded to explain how she was trying to get the avocado pit out by stabbing the knife into it, as I do with a fork, and the knife slipped, tearing through the base of her pointer finger and into the soft, thin skin between the pointer and middle fingers. She was, no doubt, exerting some good pressure on that pit when the knife slipped on it's slimy surface. Poor girl... I could literally see down inside of the skin. It cut all the way through that thin, stretchy connective tissue and left the cavity above the knuckle exposed. The blood was gushing, but I quickly rinsed it and closed her fingers together, side by side, put a paper towel around them and told her to hold on while we rushed her to the doctor's office.

Marin was extremely brave, even smiling for a picture with her cut hand. What a gal! The doc came in, checked her out, gave her a numbing shot (painful... tears... ouch...) and left the nurse to clean it out. After she was all cleaned up, Dr. Clark put five stitches in between her fingers, told us gruesome stories about lessons learned in the E.R. and sent us packing with suckers for two little girls, to boot. Considering the amount we get to pay for deductibles, I would have expected something more like Shirley Temple's big pinwheel sucker she held when she sang, "On the Good Ship Lollipop," but alas, Dum Dum's would just have to do :0)

From the doctor's office, we rushed home to pick up Vanessa and a few friends for a ward Young Women's dodgeball game, which the other team didn't bother to show up for. When you live out in the boonies like we do, you don't drive 15 minutes for nothing! We stayed and played dodgeball... Kevin, Marin and I included. The numbing agent hadn't quite worn off, and Marin was feeling great. She even played with a friend for an hour or two when we got home. The pain and the tears didn't start up again until later this evening, but it's nothing a couple of Tylenol couldn't take care of.

Kevin and the kids watched "Gorillas in the Mist" while I caught up on some computer work. We had watched that show years ago when it came out and remembered thinking it was really great, no doubt before we had kids. I didn't realize just how bad a fit it was for Audra until moments ago when she came into the front room, lip trembling, with tears rolling down her cheeks. She squeeked out, "Mom... they ki...killed the gorillas and cut off their arms and hands. The evil junglers and even people like us did it. They killed the la..lady, too," and she broke down sobbing. I took her in my arms and rocked her and told her how sorry I was that she had to see something so sad and disturbing. She was really upset. We talked about the good things this lady had done for the animals in trying to protect them and that she was in Heaven because of her soft heart and kindness. Poor little Audra. She would stop crying for a minute or two, and then start telling me about how they "killed all the females"... gorillas. I explained to her that she was feeling just like Heavenly Father feels when he sees us kill and hurt animals or each other... very, very sad. It was really awful for her.

Next time I preview the movie... again... before the kids watch. Lots of swear words in it, as well, they said. Sorry, Audra! As soon as I wrap this up, I'll scoop her up off the floor where she is now sleeping with Bruno as a pillow and take her into bed with Kevin and I. We already said our prayers and asked Heavenly Father to help take the terrible images out of her mind so she could sleep and thanked him for people like the lady in the film who are courageous enough to fight for what is right. I told Audra that maybe someday she can help protect the animals, too, which of course brought more tears and "But then I'd die... someone would kill me." That was a whole new discussion about how everyone dies, at some point, and that going to Heaven will be just like running into my arms... that Heavenly Father and Jesus are waiting to give us a great big hug and that we will feel comforted and loved in their embrace just as she was feeling in mine. Bless her heart.