The Art of Deciphering Chinese

Audra brought me a paper today that she had copied Chinese characters onto and asked me if I could tell her what it said. I am a big tease, of course, and have been blessed with the ability to fly by the seat of my pants in situations like these, and thus said, "But, of course I can read it. It says, 'Last Christmas I gave you my heart and all you did was tear it apart.'" Her eyes opened wide and a big grin settled on her face. I was waiting for the moment when she would realize that the radio on my computer was playing "Last Christmas" and know that I was foolin' her. (the song actually says "...and the very next day, you gave it away" instead of "...and all you did was tear it apart" but I was improvising and didn't want her to catch on too quick!) I asked her, "Where did you find the Chinese writing to copy?" to which she replied, "On a box under my bed." "A Sunkist box for oranges?" I asked. "Yup." "Oh... that makes perfect sense then. You see, a lot of people give a case of oranges to their friends for Christmas. So, the company must be saying, 'Here's your oranges for Christmas.' And what do people do with oranges? They..." and Audra pipes up, "...TEAR THEM APART!" "That's right!" I said and told her to go tell her dad what it said and then to copy me some more. I overheard her telling Kevin what it said, and of course, he starts singing "Last Christmas" and I was sure he was going to blow it for me. But, no... she was just too thrilled that it said something about Christmas and came back through my room on her way to write some more. As she crossed the foot of my bed, she stopped suddenly. "What?!" she exclaimed! Hearing the girl on the radio still singing "Last Christmas" she looked in amazement at my computer. Oh no, I thought...she's figured it out. "Mom! That lady just said 'Last Christmas I gave you my heart.' I bet she's the one who wrote that Chinese on the box!" Her grin had grown by tenfold over her new discovery, and of course, my covert methods were kept intact. Her secret to copying down Chinese characters is quite tricky. You see, she lays on her bed and hangs her head upside down with the paper on the ground, thus creating upside down Chinese, but for my intents and purposes... it was all good. She rushed back into my room with her next set of characters. I racked my brain for a good follow up to "Last Christmas" and totally drew a blank. Once again, I tuned my ears onto the radio playing an instrumental version of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" and started to read it for her..."God rest ye merry gentlemen...eat this orange and rest... merry gentlemen." Oh my gosh... the look on her face was of absolute amazement that I could read the Chinese. She didn't even care if it made any sense. It was simply fabulous! That girl... she's a crack up! Happy Thanksgiving Eve to you all!

Audra-isms

I forgot to mention something funny that Audra said yesterday. I challenged Audra and Marin to see who would brush their teeth first, and of course, Audra ran out of the room like a cockroach when the lights flip on. She was back within a minute or so, indicating that she really didn't brush... it's the old toothpaste on the finger technique, if you ask me. At any rate, after sending her back again to actually brush, she came back in and asked what her surprise was. I thought for a minute and said, "You can have another sweet and salty granola bar," which of course was a stupid surprise, since she had just brushed her teeth... duh. She looked at me and said, "I expect toys." Kev and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. She was dead serious and sounded like the Queen of England addressing her subjects. That girl is a hoot.

I have kept Audra home from school most of the week, due to a cough that I didn't want evolving into a flu, and with half the school out sick with the H1N1 or whatever the latest bug fad is right now, I wanted to play it safe. She was so much happier being home, it was incredible. Even with her playmate, Marin, gone all day, she kept herself busy and did her homework. Her attitude was much improved and the way she interacted with her siblings was noticeably better. Homeschool may be calling her name... at least for a little while. After all, how will I ever put together that fantastic book I'll be writing without little Audra-isms contributing to its success? Marin wrote her a letter the other day telling her how much she hoped Audra would feel better. Audra dictated to me this letter... word for word:

Dear Marin,

Thank you for the letter. I DO hope I get better and get to go to school. I'm going to have something for you when you get home. Go in the front room and your surprise will be in there!

Your Best Buddy...

Audra

I loved the grown up way she dictated this letter to me. She uses very complete sentences and has an impressive ardor with her delivery of the dictation. My favorite is, "Your Best Buddy..." Such a dolly cakes!

More Photos of da Phamily

Audra ready for school...

The Funny Farmer, Herself!

Gerrit and his group date to Homecoming

My Awesome In-laws, Ray & Karen

Sweet Marin :0)

A Plethora of Ponderments, Poetry and Plain Old Purity

This is just a small tribute post to my beautiful daughter, Marin, and a bit of a happy dance post for actually being able to dream a dream this evening... to envision possibilities in a future that has been looking somewhat prison-esque to me, of late. I hope you enjoy the photos of Marin, and of Vanessa and Dayton, as well, from the fall dance at school.

Kevin, Audra and I went to the bookstore today and I spotted a calendar for sale that takes vintage photos of women in the majestic throes of housewifery - circa 1950's - with smart, sarcastic phrases super-imposed. My favorite was of a smiling, cherubic, 50's icon of a housewife whose companion statement read, "If what you mean by happy is a prison sentence with no chance of escape... then, yes! I am happy!" It struck me as funny and Kev and I had a good chuckle. The contrast between the smiling faces and the acerbic verbiage was quite lovely. I also found a hilarious book called "What to Expect When You Are Expected" playing off of the series of a similar title, except written to the unborn fetus. Pretty dang funny. All in all... a great visit to the bookstore. Wouldn't you know it? The one book Audra picks from the shelf to lay down on the floor and flip through, is a book we already have at home, Jan Brett's Christmas Treasury. I said, "We have that book, Audra. I read it to you." She replied, "I'm just looking at it, Moomm..." like sheesh...

Anyway, here is my tiny little one stanza poem about Marin that just seemed to hit the spot at 2:00 a.m. yesterday morn:

daughter

ever watchful and reflective
eyes of innocence and blue
wise beyond this earthly kingdom
gentle as the morning dew

November 6, 2009
Donna Brooks van Uitert

I also had a fun visit to the D.I. this evening with Dayton. I wasn't quite sure why I was going, but it seemed like a good thing to do, so Dayton and I had a fun treasure hunting trip to the big "D" and found too many treasures to possibly take home. I did buy, however, a lazy-boy recliner in near-perfect condition and an upholstered chair that matches my front room couch reasonably well, in that eclectic way I prefer, of course. I did not resist the temptation to buy this monstrously awesome entertainment center armoire they had for sale for $75. It was just too gigantic and marvelous to resist. Of course, it may not fit in my home, and heaven knows I don't have a place for it, but it was so cool, I just had to indulge myself. We will either find a place for it here, or I will find a new home for it on ksl.com.

I really do love reselling used furniture and have been very blessed to have an eye for what sells online, but haven't been into the resell business for the last year or so. Rekindling this old flame is part of my "Dream a Little Dream" experience tonight. I simply adore the weirdly elaborate... sometimes grotesquely large in size... furniture that I find at the thrift shops. LOVE IT!!! I once had a dream (one that was on the brink of realization, I might add) of opening a used furniture store in Coalville and passing along quality, fashionable furnishings to the common folk in those parts who didn't want to drive into Salt Lake for a good deal. Heaven knows Park City doesn't have inexpensive used furniture for sale... I think it might be against the city code, to tell you the truth... hardy har har. Anywho... needless to say, I didn't open my shop. I did, however, buy furniture for it. That truly is how close I thought I was to realizing this dream. I sold most of it over a few month's time and helped pay the bills while we were struggling to make two house payments and keep the collection agencies at bay. It surely was a blessing to have that resource and certainly softened the blows of our financial crisis. We have no financial crisis, to speak of, these days. HALLELUJAH!!! Heavenly Father has blessed us beyond measure and we are so grateful to be out from under the black cloud of debt. However, I still love buying and reselling quirky furniture and am thinking of bringing back the old dream of setting up shop... with the twist of a warehouse to sell out of, instead of an open to the public kind of store.

We are considering this nifty little Victorian home for sale in Wellsville as a daytime depot for moi... running kids to school fifteen miles each way is getting old... twice and sometimes three times a day. If you know me at all, you know I like to drive, but only in those "I want to go for a drive" kind of moods... not "I have to take the kids to school" ball and chain schtick I've been engaging in for the last three months. My life has felt like anything but my own since I traded in the homeschooling "fly by the seat of our pants" lifestyle for the transient glory of taxi driver and STILL homeschool mom of four - just now encapsulated between the hours of four and ten p.m. I am what the Spanglish might call "el toasto burno" or "burnt toast" for all you heathens who don't speak Spanglish. And, yes... I am a complainer, as well, just for kicks. I don't really want to be a complainer... but then I must want to be one, since I'm performing the duties of Chief Complainer Whiny Pants with such zeal and zest that I put Lucille Ball and Roseanne Barr to shame, I'm afraid. Ah well... complaining's a nasty job, but somebody's gotta do it... *wink wink*

Speaking of complaining... I really need to mention what a fantastic example of non-complainability my dear Mother-in-law is (doesn't the word non-complainability just tickle your tongue as it rolls off? the fact that it isn't a word just makes it all the more fantastic!) My Mother-in-law just retired last week... wahoooo!!! Whilst reflecting upon her years of sacrifice and hard work in helping to support her family, it dawned on me that I don't think I've ever heard her complain about it. Kev and I have been married for twenty years... twenty years... and, honestly, I can't remember one complaint falling off her lips about her obligation to work. She is an absolutely awesome example of integrity, graceful endurance, and quite simply "putting the shoulder to the wheel." I'm sure she has had her complaints throughout the years concerning various things, but I find it extraordinary that I have never heard her complain about going to work. What a great woman, mother and wife. I can certainly take a few lessons from her about "doing my duty with a heart full of joy" and maybe learn a thing or two about the Art of Shut the #$%@ Up and Quit Yer Complainin'! Thank you, Karen, for the years of service on behalf of your family and for the example of not only your work ethic, but your enduring to the end character and positive attitude. Your charity and love for your family has not gone unnoticed and lucky for me, I get to reap the benefits of your righteous womanhood on a daily basis just by the blessing of having married your fabulous son. When he smiles, I see you and love him all the more for it.

Now, back to this Victorian cottage in Wellsville. We are thinking of either replacing our rental house in Layton with it, or quite simply adding it to our investment portfolio as a pet project for me to lovingly restore, use as a hair salon/massage parlor (don't get excited...it's not that kind of massage parlor...), furniture reselling headquarters, storage facility for our motor home and outside trailers, school house for Audra (we are considering bringing her back home for a year or two of positive character and identity reinforcement... that girl... I'll tell ya...grumparoo to Timbuktu!), and just an all around pit-stop for me and the kids so we can save some time and money from running back and forth to Beaver Dam several times a day. Out of breath just from reading that? I think that sentence deserves an award. But seriously, those are the thoughts and dreams from the previously vacant persona I have acquired over the last two years... the artist formerly known as "who? huh? oh... that absent spirited and fitfully mindless creature inhabiting Donna's body? right on..." I actually felt alive tonight thinking of the possibilities, and seeing as that I haven't been able to envision many future goals (or shall I say any future goals) for a long period of time now, it is quite refreshing to take joy in the thoughts of plans and projects and all that jazz... even if they don't work out. Decisions like these require much prayer and pondering and when they are right, they just seem to fall into place. Should that happen with this decision, I would assume that I will be thrilled. If it's not meant to be, then it's not meant to be and another dream may find its way to my doorstep, preferably sooner than later. *grins*

Goodnight, Ya'll... This is what happens when I don't write for awhile. My dad asked me for an email when I was chatting with him on the phone this evening and I reminded him that I respond quite regularly to his emails, to which he replied that he hasn't received an email from "the Farm" for a long time. Well, here ya go, Pops... this one's for you!

It is now after six o’clock and I am still helping kids with homework. Just as I answer a question for Marin, then it’s Dayton’s turn…then Marin…then Dayton… You get the picture. If Vanessa wasn’t babysitting, we could throw her in the mix. Instead, she’ll probably call as soon as she gets a chance to work on her homework, and if not, we’ll be up late tonight. Luckily, Kevin got back in town late last night and is thus here to help Audra with hers. Hers is actually pretty quick… thank heavens. We are working on prime factorization for math and maps for history. I don’t remember ever having to know all the different types of projection maps available. In fact, I might indeed ask “Why is it necessary to memorize them?” Unless my child plans to become a cartographer, I see no need. And yet, here we sit detailing the strengths and weaknesses of each of the four common map projections. If Marin wants to be a cartographer someday, I’m sure she could have speedily memorized and learned about these in her cartography class. Welcome to public school… the source of certain pertinent information, but also decidedly the source of oodles and oodles of unnecessary fact memorization. I guarantee you that none of these kids of mine will remember what kinds of projections there are in a few months. And the amazing thing is that they won’t NEED to remember them… EVER. Boy howdy, do I love to waste my time, or what?! And yes... you guessed it... I'm a little bit grouchy.

On a happier note, Marin, Dayton and Vanessa are all on Student Council. They made posters and gave campaign speeches. Marin is the Secretary, Vanessa the Treasurer, and Dayton is a Class Representative. Now, we'll just have to see if they have any TIME to be on Student Council after all of their well spent time regurgitating stimulating facts about the Winkel Triple Projection Map. Sorry... just couldn't help it.

Audra is busy sewing papers together for homemade books that she makes and plans to give to all of her friends and family. She's been making them for a couple of months now and likes to copy text from other books. You can open one and read about Simba and Timone, or open another and read about Dorothy on her way to Oz. She's a sweet girl... most of the time. We actually quite prefer her when she is NOT sticking her tongue out, hitting, kicking, or telling a story about how she "didn't do it!"

In other news: our lovely snake is loose in the house. Whither he goes, we know not. I hope to find him alive and preferably not hooked onto anyone's toes. I suspect that this is Kevin's hope, as well. (but, my, doesn't Kevin have delicious looking toes? I should say...)

And with that, I bid you adieu... a final farewell. Vanessa shall grace us with her presence in a short period of time, at which point I can restart the tutoring process once again. Anyone game for a jolly time with predicates, prepositional phrases, cardinal compasses, or prime factorizations? If so, applications are being accepted during normal business hours, which at present is between the hours of seven a.m. and ten p.m. Plenty of time to submit...no excuses...

Bear Lake with the Girlies July 30, 2009

Need = Motivation

Marin spent some time with Julie Miller, tonight, practicing barrels, poles, keyhole, loping methods, and all sorts of other fun horsemanship skills. Audra did NOT... much to her dismay... weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth type of dismay! When we came back to pick Marin up from Julie's, Audra was able to ride Buck for a few minutes, but he was so ready to be done working that he kept running her to the arena gate... full gallop... no stirrups... six year old girl! I would have thought she'd be bawling her eyes out on run #1 (she waited until run #3), but all she said was, "Buck just wants to run!" This girl's a tough cookie! (next time I'll get pictures of her... she's a doll!) Marin is, no doubt, counting down the hours until the next opportunity to ride. I like to call that "motivation"... for completing school work... chores... just about anything I need her to do. Life is much simpler when the kids are in LOVE with a hobby. I just need to figure out how to help shift Gerrit's hobby from "girlfriend" to "horses"... hmmm.....

Photos of Baby Bottle Feeding

The "Almost" Rattlesnake Round-up

Kevin's brother, Brad, and his darling children came up for a visit this afternoon. While Vanessa and Marin entertained the kids on the trampoline, Kevin and I took Brad on a tour of the thriving metropolis of Beaver Dam.

Our first stop was to a neighbor's house to show Brad their huge draft horse... one of the biggest horses I've ever seen. Next, we thought we'd show him Cutler Dam Power Station, the Bear River, and some of the beautiful countryside along the way. Halfway there, another neighbor waved us down and we pulled over and hopped out. Turns out, he had been trying to call us, because his goat doe was delivering her twins, the first of which was stuck with one leg and the head sticking out. Somehow, he thought we could be of assistance... his wife said, "Call Donna... I bet she'll know what to do." Prayer and instinct would have been my only solutions, having never delivered goat kids before. We stopped by just AFTER he pulled the first one out, but he was afraid he had broken it's neck and/or legs in the process. The poor little thing was pretty worn out, but didn't appear to have any broken body parts, seeing as it could still hold it's head up and was attempting to stand. It's sluggishness, however, brought it very limited attention from it's mother, so it may turn out to be a bummer kid, anyway. (Bummer means that the mother rejects it and it will be necessary to bottle feed and hand raise the kid until it is weaned.) I proceeded to check out the baby, testing it's legs for reflex responses, cleaning off a little of the snot-like, yellow mucous hanging all over it, and listening to it breathe to see if there was possibly some esophageal damage. All in all, I'd say he was in good shape for being pulled out with the intensity and strength that was required to do the job. I helped a neighbor, last year, deliver her two puppies, and the first didn't make it through the delivery. She died because we couldn't get her out fast enough, and when the doctor made it over to help, he ended up breaking the neck pulling her out. Very distressing. I fully understood the stress this fine neighbor had in delivering that first kid. Complications are no fun and we all hope we don't have any in delivering babies! Kevin and Brad were standing by while our neighbor's son tried to help the mama deliver kid #2, and were able to witness the whole process. I think Kevin was trying to distract the mother, and even joked that he offered her some ice chips to suck on during the delivery. Funny guy! Not a bad Beaver Dam country tour, by any means...

Onward and upward to Cutler Dam... We took the little dirt road that runs along the river and showed him where the scout camp is, the better fishing areas, and a neighbor's property (hundreds of acres) in the river bottoms. On our way back out, Kevin thought he ran over a snake. He stopped the truck and we jumped out to see. Much to our surprise, we missed it completely, and were able to check out this fairly good sized reptile crossing the road. My first thoughts were to pick it up and take it back for the kids to see, but upon closer inspection, the head looked too wide, and it's demeanor, too aggressive. Even though it had no rattler on the tip of it's tail, it did have a decidedly aggressive "coil up and strike" attitude, and I just couldn't be sure that it wasn't a venomous variety. It looked a lot like the bullsnakes and gopher snakes we have caught in the past, but I've never seen one so aggressive. This snake was a good two to three feet in length and about an inch and a half in diameter. If we minus the "rattle"... it was an "almost" Rattlesnake Round-up finale to our Beaver Dam tour. How exciting is that? I was a little disappointed, later this evening, to find that the pictures online really DID resemble just a gopher/bullsnake, and we probably would have been fine to grab it. However, when in doubt, stay a good distance out, right? Right... According to this online source, the gopher/bullsnakes can flatten out their heads and imitate a rattler to scare off predators. It worked :)

The posted pictures are of Max, Sadie and Audra on the trampoline, walking and riding on Banner, and a little interaction between Brad, Sadie and the goat kids. Check out Sadie's face with those goats! She's NOT a fan... However, her brother helped me milk Isabella, brush Banner and even walk him back to his corral. Way to go, Max! And thanks for coming up, Brad... it was great to see you all!

The Girl Who Swallowed Her Tooth

Audra has had quite a day! Biting into a strawberry pulled one of her front bottom teeth out, just days after losing her first bottom tooth. Within two weeks, she's lost three teeth, and really NEEDS to lose the other top tooth, simply because it is now resembling a kernal of corn poking out of her gums ;P You see, she fell off of a kitchen chair when she was two years old, hitting her two top front teeth in the process. One tooth turned brown and died... we had it pulled. The other tooth is in for the long haul, I guess, and has stagnated at the ever so lovely yellow stage... Pictsweet yellow, as a matter of fact! But, back to the swallowed tooth... After telling her one of my fantastic tales, she may now believe that her tooth may be lodged in her intestine, spawning new little baby teeth and having a grand old time!

I showed Audra her picture on the previous posting and told her that people from all over the world could be seeing her cute face. At this moment, while she is SUPPOSED to be in bed, she is instead hunting down a cowboy hat to wear tomorrow, just incase I take anymore pictures. She thinks she is supposed to look like a cowgirl, since I wrote that we live on a funny farm. We really MUST live on a funny farm, because where else would I walk outside and see my six year old daughter squatting behind the poplar tree relieving herself (mind you, the poplars are no more than fifty feet from the back of the house... the house with four bathrooms). Hearing my fourteen year old son yell, "Audra! Get your pants back on!" is, quite simply, a common occurrence, for my daughter is an exhibitionist of the finest nature. Two years ago, at our last residence, she could be found buck naked in the front yard on a winter day. To her future husband... good luck with that... or perhaps... congratulations.

After hearing about my best friend's son breaking his arm on the trampoline last week, we thought, "Gee.... we should go buy a tramp!" -- which, of course, we did. (I can't let Annie have ALL the fun at the doctor's office) After less than five minutes jumping with her big brother (not recommended in the instructions from the manufacturer, I'll have you know), Audra was screaming and claiming that she broke her leg. Oh my... that lasted only another five minutes, when she figured out that she wouldn't be able to jump on the tramp anymore if she was complaining that she couldn't even walk. Glory hallelujah... it's a miracle... she hath been healed! So, no trips to the ER like my friend Annie...only second thoughts on what kind of a mental case I must be to enter into ANOTHER medium of entertainment for my kids, that they can argue over and kill eachother on. I guess I must have really needed something else for my kids to ask me about twenty jillion times a day... Wait! I seem to have forgotten that this is SUPER FUN! Sorry about that... memory lapse.

The Virginal Blogger

Okay... I caved in to peer pressure! Several friends and members of my family have their own blogs, and feeling totally left in the blogger dust, I've decided to start my own. I'm quite certain that SOMETHING interesting must be happening to me and my family on a daily basis, and I guess this blog will be the proof in the pudding!

It didn't rain today!!! YESSS! The rain is great, and I know we need it here in our desert climate, but it was super nice to have a partially sunny day to work outside. Of course, that meant mud and manure in the treads of my shoes... TOTALLY worth it! Right now, I'm wondering just how crispy fried my face is, after working out in the yard for most of the day. Once again, I forgot to put the sunscreen on and shudder to think what extra sun damage I did to my already "skin cancer here I come" face!

I made a new corral for the goats, today. This entailed disconnecting the goat panels from their previous location, where they were reinforcing some farm fencing, and then connecting them to the t-posts in the new location. Isabella, Clover and Dora seem thrilled with their new abode and are delighting in the fresh, green grass growing under their feet. The two little doelings are prancing and jumping every which way with their constant play and look like little drunkards with their uneven stance and wobbly legs. I'm loving their long, white ears and am just starting to see little nubs of horns emerging from their foreheads. Fun, fun, fun! And... as a little perk for the day... Frosty (my big paint gelding) came up to me today, unsolicited even, and Maggie (my pregnant miniature mare) let me catch her on the first try. Guess I wasn't the only one in a better mood after seeing the sun!