Better late than never, huh? The last few weeks have been a little off for me, and thus...not much motivation for the blogging! You see, one of 2009's changes has thrown me for a loop, but I am adjusting and shifting gears and will hopefully be up to smooth sailing anytime now! Just a week or two before the year ended, we found out that Kevin was no longer going to be allowed to work from home. Big deal, right? Actually... it's a HUGE deal for me. I have truly loved having him home this last year...not because I asked him to do things for me around the house or escape with me all the time (I just didn't)... but because it was just so dang nice to have him here. Even if he was working...he was HERE. Kids could pop in to say hi, bring him lunch, have him at school activities, etc. Gasoline expenses just went up by another $500 a month, and had we known about this a year and a half ago, we would have bought a house closer to Kaysville. Ah, well... no regrets. We love Beaver Dam and have learned a lot here. Still, we will probably move to either get closer to his work or at least closer to the kids' school in Cache valley. Something's gotta give...
Putting our kids in school full time has definitely been a change for 2009. We love their charter school; love the Principal; love the students...don't love the drive. It's worth it, though. Feeling good about their educational environment has always been a concern for us (thus the homeschooling) and finding a school that actually sits well with us is a huge blessing. We took Audra out a month or two ago, though. She needs a little more quantity/quality time with her mom. I'm just glad I have the ability to do what needs to be done. Many mothers do not have the choice of homeschooling because of employment necessities and/or single family households. For the blessing of 'choice'... I am grateful.
Last, but not least... I think I was probably more distressed and depressed in 2009 than in any other year to date. The last FEW years (maybe even five) have been filled with changes and stresses that just kind of built up and finally pinned me down. This is not to say that I did not enjoy happiness this last year, because I certainly did. I just kind of passed out, emotionally, spiritually, and even somewhat physically. But, from the depths of the chasm comes the realization that there's only one direction to go (well, not really...things could have been much, MUCH worse), or at least only one direction I WANT to go, and that is UP. Sadness, pain, loneliness and discouragement have motivated me to search for ways to improve my life and have given me a wake-up call that I cannot ignore. They are all symptoms of something inside of me that needs healing and are little warnings that there definitely are WORSE things to come if I don't take care of myself. So, here's to hoping that 2010 is the year that I find the solutions, make the commitments, and learn to smile just a little bit more. :0)
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