The Art of Deciphering Chinese

Audra brought me a paper today that she had copied Chinese characters onto and asked me if I could tell her what it said. I am a big tease, of course, and have been blessed with the ability to fly by the seat of my pants in situations like these, and thus said, "But, of course I can read it. It says, 'Last Christmas I gave you my heart and all you did was tear it apart.'" Her eyes opened wide and a big grin settled on her face. I was waiting for the moment when she would realize that the radio on my computer was playing "Last Christmas" and know that I was foolin' her. (the song actually says "...and the very next day, you gave it away" instead of "...and all you did was tear it apart" but I was improvising and didn't want her to catch on too quick!) I asked her, "Where did you find the Chinese writing to copy?" to which she replied, "On a box under my bed." "A Sunkist box for oranges?" I asked. "Yup." "Oh... that makes perfect sense then. You see, a lot of people give a case of oranges to their friends for Christmas. So, the company must be saying, 'Here's your oranges for Christmas.' And what do people do with oranges? They..." and Audra pipes up, "...TEAR THEM APART!" "That's right!" I said and told her to go tell her dad what it said and then to copy me some more. I overheard her telling Kevin what it said, and of course, he starts singing "Last Christmas" and I was sure he was going to blow it for me. But, no... she was just too thrilled that it said something about Christmas and came back through my room on her way to write some more. As she crossed the foot of my bed, she stopped suddenly. "What?!" she exclaimed! Hearing the girl on the radio still singing "Last Christmas" she looked in amazement at my computer. Oh no, I thought...she's figured it out. "Mom! That lady just said 'Last Christmas I gave you my heart.' I bet she's the one who wrote that Chinese on the box!" Her grin had grown by tenfold over her new discovery, and of course, my covert methods were kept intact. Her secret to copying down Chinese characters is quite tricky. You see, she lays on her bed and hangs her head upside down with the paper on the ground, thus creating upside down Chinese, but for my intents and purposes... it was all good. She rushed back into my room with her next set of characters. I racked my brain for a good follow up to "Last Christmas" and totally drew a blank. Once again, I tuned my ears onto the radio playing an instrumental version of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" and started to read it for her..."God rest ye merry gentlemen...eat this orange and rest... merry gentlemen." Oh my gosh... the look on her face was of absolute amazement that I could read the Chinese. She didn't even care if it made any sense. It was simply fabulous! That girl... she's a crack up! Happy Thanksgiving Eve to you all!

Audra-isms

I forgot to mention something funny that Audra said yesterday. I challenged Audra and Marin to see who would brush their teeth first, and of course, Audra ran out of the room like a cockroach when the lights flip on. She was back within a minute or so, indicating that she really didn't brush... it's the old toothpaste on the finger technique, if you ask me. At any rate, after sending her back again to actually brush, she came back in and asked what her surprise was. I thought for a minute and said, "You can have another sweet and salty granola bar," which of course was a stupid surprise, since she had just brushed her teeth... duh. She looked at me and said, "I expect toys." Kev and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. She was dead serious and sounded like the Queen of England addressing her subjects. That girl is a hoot.

I have kept Audra home from school most of the week, due to a cough that I didn't want evolving into a flu, and with half the school out sick with the H1N1 or whatever the latest bug fad is right now, I wanted to play it safe. She was so much happier being home, it was incredible. Even with her playmate, Marin, gone all day, she kept herself busy and did her homework. Her attitude was much improved and the way she interacted with her siblings was noticeably better. Homeschool may be calling her name... at least for a little while. After all, how will I ever put together that fantastic book I'll be writing without little Audra-isms contributing to its success? Marin wrote her a letter the other day telling her how much she hoped Audra would feel better. Audra dictated to me this letter... word for word:

Dear Marin,

Thank you for the letter. I DO hope I get better and get to go to school. I'm going to have something for you when you get home. Go in the front room and your surprise will be in there!

Your Best Buddy...

Audra

I loved the grown up way she dictated this letter to me. She uses very complete sentences and has an impressive ardor with her delivery of the dictation. My favorite is, "Your Best Buddy..." Such a dolly cakes!

More Photos of da Phamily

Audra ready for school...

The Funny Farmer, Herself!

Gerrit and his group date to Homecoming

My Awesome In-laws, Ray & Karen

Sweet Marin :0)

A Plethora of Ponderments, Poetry and Plain Old Purity

This is just a small tribute post to my beautiful daughter, Marin, and a bit of a happy dance post for actually being able to dream a dream this evening... to envision possibilities in a future that has been looking somewhat prison-esque to me, of late. I hope you enjoy the photos of Marin, and of Vanessa and Dayton, as well, from the fall dance at school.

Kevin, Audra and I went to the bookstore today and I spotted a calendar for sale that takes vintage photos of women in the majestic throes of housewifery - circa 1950's - with smart, sarcastic phrases super-imposed. My favorite was of a smiling, cherubic, 50's icon of a housewife whose companion statement read, "If what you mean by happy is a prison sentence with no chance of escape... then, yes! I am happy!" It struck me as funny and Kev and I had a good chuckle. The contrast between the smiling faces and the acerbic verbiage was quite lovely. I also found a hilarious book called "What to Expect When You Are Expected" playing off of the series of a similar title, except written to the unborn fetus. Pretty dang funny. All in all... a great visit to the bookstore. Wouldn't you know it? The one book Audra picks from the shelf to lay down on the floor and flip through, is a book we already have at home, Jan Brett's Christmas Treasury. I said, "We have that book, Audra. I read it to you." She replied, "I'm just looking at it, Moomm..." like sheesh...

Anyway, here is my tiny little one stanza poem about Marin that just seemed to hit the spot at 2:00 a.m. yesterday morn:

daughter

ever watchful and reflective
eyes of innocence and blue
wise beyond this earthly kingdom
gentle as the morning dew

November 6, 2009
Donna Brooks van Uitert

I also had a fun visit to the D.I. this evening with Dayton. I wasn't quite sure why I was going, but it seemed like a good thing to do, so Dayton and I had a fun treasure hunting trip to the big "D" and found too many treasures to possibly take home. I did buy, however, a lazy-boy recliner in near-perfect condition and an upholstered chair that matches my front room couch reasonably well, in that eclectic way I prefer, of course. I did not resist the temptation to buy this monstrously awesome entertainment center armoire they had for sale for $75. It was just too gigantic and marvelous to resist. Of course, it may not fit in my home, and heaven knows I don't have a place for it, but it was so cool, I just had to indulge myself. We will either find a place for it here, or I will find a new home for it on ksl.com.

I really do love reselling used furniture and have been very blessed to have an eye for what sells online, but haven't been into the resell business for the last year or so. Rekindling this old flame is part of my "Dream a Little Dream" experience tonight. I simply adore the weirdly elaborate... sometimes grotesquely large in size... furniture that I find at the thrift shops. LOVE IT!!! I once had a dream (one that was on the brink of realization, I might add) of opening a used furniture store in Coalville and passing along quality, fashionable furnishings to the common folk in those parts who didn't want to drive into Salt Lake for a good deal. Heaven knows Park City doesn't have inexpensive used furniture for sale... I think it might be against the city code, to tell you the truth... hardy har har. Anywho... needless to say, I didn't open my shop. I did, however, buy furniture for it. That truly is how close I thought I was to realizing this dream. I sold most of it over a few month's time and helped pay the bills while we were struggling to make two house payments and keep the collection agencies at bay. It surely was a blessing to have that resource and certainly softened the blows of our financial crisis. We have no financial crisis, to speak of, these days. HALLELUJAH!!! Heavenly Father has blessed us beyond measure and we are so grateful to be out from under the black cloud of debt. However, I still love buying and reselling quirky furniture and am thinking of bringing back the old dream of setting up shop... with the twist of a warehouse to sell out of, instead of an open to the public kind of store.

We are considering this nifty little Victorian home for sale in Wellsville as a daytime depot for moi... running kids to school fifteen miles each way is getting old... twice and sometimes three times a day. If you know me at all, you know I like to drive, but only in those "I want to go for a drive" kind of moods... not "I have to take the kids to school" ball and chain schtick I've been engaging in for the last three months. My life has felt like anything but my own since I traded in the homeschooling "fly by the seat of our pants" lifestyle for the transient glory of taxi driver and STILL homeschool mom of four - just now encapsulated between the hours of four and ten p.m. I am what the Spanglish might call "el toasto burno" or "burnt toast" for all you heathens who don't speak Spanglish. And, yes... I am a complainer, as well, just for kicks. I don't really want to be a complainer... but then I must want to be one, since I'm performing the duties of Chief Complainer Whiny Pants with such zeal and zest that I put Lucille Ball and Roseanne Barr to shame, I'm afraid. Ah well... complaining's a nasty job, but somebody's gotta do it... *wink wink*

Speaking of complaining... I really need to mention what a fantastic example of non-complainability my dear Mother-in-law is (doesn't the word non-complainability just tickle your tongue as it rolls off? the fact that it isn't a word just makes it all the more fantastic!) My Mother-in-law just retired last week... wahoooo!!! Whilst reflecting upon her years of sacrifice and hard work in helping to support her family, it dawned on me that I don't think I've ever heard her complain about it. Kev and I have been married for twenty years... twenty years... and, honestly, I can't remember one complaint falling off her lips about her obligation to work. She is an absolutely awesome example of integrity, graceful endurance, and quite simply "putting the shoulder to the wheel." I'm sure she has had her complaints throughout the years concerning various things, but I find it extraordinary that I have never heard her complain about going to work. What a great woman, mother and wife. I can certainly take a few lessons from her about "doing my duty with a heart full of joy" and maybe learn a thing or two about the Art of Shut the #$%@ Up and Quit Yer Complainin'! Thank you, Karen, for the years of service on behalf of your family and for the example of not only your work ethic, but your enduring to the end character and positive attitude. Your charity and love for your family has not gone unnoticed and lucky for me, I get to reap the benefits of your righteous womanhood on a daily basis just by the blessing of having married your fabulous son. When he smiles, I see you and love him all the more for it.

Now, back to this Victorian cottage in Wellsville. We are thinking of either replacing our rental house in Layton with it, or quite simply adding it to our investment portfolio as a pet project for me to lovingly restore, use as a hair salon/massage parlor (don't get excited...it's not that kind of massage parlor...), furniture reselling headquarters, storage facility for our motor home and outside trailers, school house for Audra (we are considering bringing her back home for a year or two of positive character and identity reinforcement... that girl... I'll tell ya...grumparoo to Timbuktu!), and just an all around pit-stop for me and the kids so we can save some time and money from running back and forth to Beaver Dam several times a day. Out of breath just from reading that? I think that sentence deserves an award. But seriously, those are the thoughts and dreams from the previously vacant persona I have acquired over the last two years... the artist formerly known as "who? huh? oh... that absent spirited and fitfully mindless creature inhabiting Donna's body? right on..." I actually felt alive tonight thinking of the possibilities, and seeing as that I haven't been able to envision many future goals (or shall I say any future goals) for a long period of time now, it is quite refreshing to take joy in the thoughts of plans and projects and all that jazz... even if they don't work out. Decisions like these require much prayer and pondering and when they are right, they just seem to fall into place. Should that happen with this decision, I would assume that I will be thrilled. If it's not meant to be, then it's not meant to be and another dream may find its way to my doorstep, preferably sooner than later. *grins*

Goodnight, Ya'll... This is what happens when I don't write for awhile. My dad asked me for an email when I was chatting with him on the phone this evening and I reminded him that I respond quite regularly to his emails, to which he replied that he hasn't received an email from "the Farm" for a long time. Well, here ya go, Pops... this one's for you!