Thoughts on Memorial Day

Since visiting the cemetary today to honor our deceased loved ones, I've been rolling this question around in my mind: "Where will WE be buried and should we reserve a spot right now?" I told Kevin that it would probably be an act of kindness to our kids and other family members if we reserved us a space at the Bountiful Cemetary, where my parents have plots, and I'm assuming Kevin's parents will, as well. Then our kids can honor US in a more timely and efficient manner. How's that for control freak? Planning out my children's Memorial Day visitations for them, so they don't have to be inconvenienced?! I need help, I'm afraid... serious help. Kevin says that just as a "getcha back" after we're deceased, kind of thing, we should buy plots as far away as possible and make them DRIVE to see us... we'll show them, hmm? Actually, that would probably only serve to make our grave stones the weediest and least visited of any in the cemetary. People would pass by our markers and say, "Poor folks with the weird last name... No one loves them or even takes care of their graves!" I guess we'll just have to wait a few more years and see where we end up living the majority of our time together. Bountiful will always be home (Woods Cross for my hubby), so we can't go wrong putting in our reservation there, but if we end up living out the rest of our lives in Beaver Dam, it might be fitting to save us a spot here. After all, the Beaver Dam cemetary is only about three hundred feet from our back door!

Posted are a few pictures from our cemetary visit today. It was nice to be with family and share stories of Grandma and Grandpa Francis, Aunt Viv and Matt Warner, my cousin. After my folks and Mike & Carolyn treated us all to lunch at Taco Time, Kev and I, with the kids (minus Vanessa who was camping with a friend) went to the van Uitert's house in WX, spent a few hours visiting there and enjoyed a nice barbequed dinner of hamburgers and hot dogs with all the fixins. It was a beautiful day to spend with our families and remember, with fondness, the extraordinary lives of our loved ones.

A Mother's Day Memo...

Yesterday, after spending the afternoon with some of Kevin's family, including his maternal grandparents, Marin asked, "How come we never see Grandpa van's mom and dad?" I realized, at that moment, that we had not talked with our children, enough, about their grandparents that had already passed on. As I had the privelege to ask the blessing on the food at dinner tonight, my thoughts were again directed to the mothers in our lives that are NOT with us; those that have passed on, who helped create the wonderful mothers we call "Mom."

I've shown my children pictures of MY grandparents, printed off of my Uncle Roy's awesome family history blog and website (a few of which are featured above), but I need to get some pictures printed out of Kevin's paternal grandparents and educate my children (and myself) about these great people. I may not know much about Grandpa & Grandma John & Norma van Uitert, but I can certainly see the product of their hard work, as parents, in my father-in-law, Ray. I may not remember even meeting my Grandpa Royal H. Brooks and really only have memories of my Grandma Hazel living in a weakened and sickly state, but I can learn a lot about their values and personal inclinations by observing my father. My mother's mother, Virginia Barnum Miller, passed on when she was just fourteen years of age, and I have often asked her what she was like. Did she sing to her when she put her to bed, like my mother did with me? Was she quick to laugh or give a hug? Did my mother consider her a best friend, like I consider my mother? These are all questions I have asked my mom in the past, because I never got the opportunity to spend time with my Grandma Miller. I believe that when we spend time with our grandparents, and/or study our ancestry, we learn about ourselves and find ourselves "tethered" to a solid and stable foundation of values and beliefs passed down through the generations. My kids are very fortunate to have both sets of grandparents living and in good health, as well as great-grandparents, Grandpa & Grandma Madsen.

Grandpa Madsen expressed his dismay, this evening, at "hanging on" too long in this life; wishing he could join those that have already passed on and leave this earthly body riddled with pain. He's feeling done with experiencing the frailties of "the Golden Years," which at this point are feeling more "rusty" than "golden." I expressed to him, as I have MANY times before, that we... his family... are VERY happy that he is still here. Grandma looked at him and said, "What about me? I need you here!" His value to me, and to the rest of the family, is great, and I feel bad that he does not realize it or deem his existence important. Not every child gets the opportunity to know their great-grandparents, and mine do; for that I am grateful. Raising our children in this day and age presents great challenges, and I am grateful for any extra parental figures and examples available for our children to learn from. We love you, Grandpa & Grandma van Uitert, Grandpa & Grandma Brooks and Grandpa & Grandma Madsen... and the same goes for all of our grandparents on the other side of the veil, as well, who prepared this great foundation and heritage for us and our posterity. Thank you!